Referral!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Last wednesday we got the call that we have been waiting for! It's been 13 months since we sent our dossier over to Ethiopia and now we finally have seen her face! She is beautiful, wish I could share pics but I can't at this time. We are now praying for quick court dates and travel. I am praying for a miracle, that we could even pick her up before Christmas. CS Lewis says that, "A miracle is when God does something that wouldn't happen if he didn't." I want to get her as soon as we can and bring her home. Conservatively, they said we would proabably go in January for the first court hearing and then leave her there (ahhhh!) for six weeks until we come back for the second hearing and then we can bring her home. Praise God that she can feel His love long before she feels ours. We are so excited!!! We may name her Beklyn Grace because it is similar to her Ethiopian name. Please pray we can bring baby Beklyn home as soon as God wills!!!

He has Bid her Heart to Beat

Yes, the ticker at the top is correct, we have been waiting over a year! I would have thought we would be holding her by now instead of still waiting to see just a picture of her. God is amazing and I am learning more of His faithfulness and love through this process. There have been many days where I have felt hopeless and He has continually sent encouragement my way. Sometimes through friends who are in the same boat across the country, "random" people I meet at the park, or my bible study. I was so touched by what I read in Beth Moore's "Believing God"...

"Perhaps you are adopted, and although you know the mother who raised you, you don't know your biological mother. God certainly did and still does. God knew her intimately enough to choose her womb for the place where He would fearfully and wonderfully fashion you. God hid you in a blanket of soft tissue and bid your heart to beat. For many days He alone knew you existed. You were His secret. God's own skillful hands knit you together, His watchful eyes gazed upon you, and His wise counsel ordained each of your days because you squinted from the light of your first. Long before technology ordered the first sonogram, God watched you suck your thumb in your mother's womb. Amazing isn't it?"
Thanks God, even when I don't feel I am getting closer to her, I know I am getting closer to you and there is no better place on earth.

I Hate Walmart

I went there today (with my three kids six and under) just to get laundry detergent, dishwasher soap, and kids' toothpaste. All things which are too expensive at my local grocery store. I would try Costco but it is a trek across town that I didn't feel up to doing. This is what I hate about it...
1) It is so crowded! We dodged several carts and went down some aisles at an attempt at finding some shortcuts to avoid cart jam ups. I finally saw an opening and went for it, feeling rather proud of my maneuvers. But alas, we found ourselves stuck behind an elderly woman on a motorized scooter going .5 miles an hour. argh! (inhale slowly three times)
2) In addition to the crowds there are huge bins in the middle of the aisles making it impossible to navigate around people. And it's ruthless, everyone is trying to get by because they know if you're not aggressive you're stuck.
3) No employee has ever had a clue of what they were talking about. Standard Response: Shock at why you are asking them information. Standard Answer: "Sorry, it's not my department." I am assuming the yellow smiley faces on their vests stands for clueless.
4) There is about 12 registers in every Wal-mart and only about three open. In addition the clerks always have their lights blinking waiting for the one person that actually knows what they are doing to come up and push one single button.
5) I have three kids with me whining, pushing each other, asking for everything they see, and generally acting like zoo animals.
OK, so #5 has nothing to do with Wal-mart and probably is the cause of all the other frustrations...yet I choose to blame them.

But I continue to go...why?
1) it's so close to my house
2) those dang cheap prices


signed,
dissatisfied consumer for life

Hello! We have been busy here enjoying the sunshine. We got a little pool (10 feet in diameter, over 3 ft deep) that barely fits in our little backyard and the kids have been having fun with it. Dason and Caden are officially swimmers, due in part to bigger pools we have visited. Brett just celebrated his 30th Birthday and I surprised him and took him to San Francisco for the night. It was so relaxing and fun. We walked across the golden gate, had lunch in Sausalito, went to Chinatown, Union Square, ate dinner at Cheesecake Factory overlooking Union Square. Brett insisted on buying the boys fake nunchucks at China Town which of course broke immediately. So being boys, they invented a new use for them where basically Brett and them just whack each other while they wrestle. It's foam and so you can smack someone as hard as you want and it doesn't hurt. Ky loves her little Chinese dress up dress we got her. So fun having a girl after the two boys. Can't wait to see what two girls will be like. Enjoying the summer before we start school for two kids for the first time. (one in first grade, one in Pre-K) As far as the adoption goes, we are really praying that we can bring her home by Christmas. The more time that passes that more unlikely that seems, but we can hope and pray. Just found out we are sixth down on the referral list. So hopefully we can see our baby girl's face for the first time very soon!

Thinking of Her

Today it is rainy and cold, I wonder what the weather is like in Ethiopia now. I guess it would be night time. I think about my daughter... Is she born yet? Is she hungry or cold? It's weird that I feel so connected to an idea of her since I don't even know her face. I know God is leading her to us and so I feel confident in my stored up love for her. He will accomplish amazing things and bring us together. But when? How much longer? Kylin asks about her everyday and I find that in the beginning of our journey it was fun to talk about with her. The longer time goes on the more I feel sad about the questions, "when is she coming?" because they echo my own frustrations. I know that God is preparing us for her and this time is what we need. Yet somehow I hurt for my baby girl whom is just a thought in my head and a longing in my heart. I thank God that He is moving and want to do His perfect will. Someday I can tell her how I loved her before I knew her name or felt her touch, much like I did when I was pregnant with her older brothers and sisters. Until then...

Back here to stay (or at least for awhile)

By the way, I am switching back to this blog because people have had trouble viewing the other one for some reason. So, thanks for sticking with me as I bounce around! I feel like I am always having trouble editing or putting up pictures here but ah well, I'll keep trying...

Our Trip Becomes Two

The Ethiopian government has officially changed the requirements so it looks like we'll be heading their twice. Not what we wanted but we knew all along that we're not in control and there would be many ups and downs. Next month marks a year since we started officially with our agency. Our dossier has been in Ethiopia since September and we hope and pray for a referral any day now. The kids are all eagerly waiting too. They pray for her and talk about her everyday. We just recently celebrated Dason and Ky's birthday, along with Easter. Good times and a reminder to not want to speed anything up but just to enjoy every moment with our family. Brett is a lot more patient than me (shocker I know) throughout this whole process. I love his excitement to meet his new daughter too and can't wait to go over their together. What an amazing journey that will be! Perhaps if you're reading this you may be thinking that maybe God has adoption in your plans as well. Just pray about it and see what happens. Watching God work is one of the most inspiring, amazing things that we can do on this earth. I long to hold our baby girl but I know God will be holding her until we get there and I know He'll keep her safe. Thanks for your prayers!

switching blogs

Hey, I am changing blogs so I thought I'd let the few people who read this know... I will be updating the new blog more frequently about the adoption (when there is news, right now we are still waiting...) the new one is www.devriesclan.blogspot.com.

Whose life will change?

Since we have begun our adoption journey there is not much to report, we are still compiling paperwork. We hope to have everything sent off to Ethiopia next month. In our hearts, we have gone a lot further. I feel like we have already traveled to get her and come back several times. I read so many adoption stories online and I feel connected in a deep way because I know our story will be similar. I have read so much about life in Ethiopia and the conditions over there. I know God is hurting for these people beyond our comprehension. So much so that he puts it on so many hearts to love those who are without hope. I think about the life we will be giving her and the opportunities she will have here that she otherwise would not have. For starters, a chance at life and to live and to grow old. But I wonder whose life will be changed more, her or ours? I know our journey over there will be so eye opening and will change the way I look at the world and the privileges we have over here. As I type I am surrounded by my healthy children and tripping over dozens and dozens of toys. Our dog lays around all day on our plush carpet and gets fed by an automatic feeder whenever she wants. My life, our children's life is so easy and we never worry about our children's next meal or how to keep them warm through the night. I know that we will change so much through this process because God will be leading us and showing us His heart. I long to hold our baby girl but know that God has so much to teach us before he gives us one of his dear masterpieces. I pray for her as she is being formed in the innermost parts, only God knows who she is and that she is ours. I want to kiss her and see her face, I want to hug her and feel our lives change together... intertwined forever.

Summerness

So we are in full swing with summer around here! The kids are having a blast and the weather is awesome. We went camping in Tahoe last week with our church and that was so awesome because I finally have a kid (Dason) that I have to try and keep up with on a hike! This was a big deal to me, I feel like our family is getting to a place where we can all do things we enjoy. Of course we will be getting our baby girl and regress a year or two... But for now we are loving the summer fun with our "big" kids. Ky can keep up with her brothers pretty good now. We are a busy fam, even our dog has obedience training this summer. Dason and me are playing bball, Cade is playing soccer, and Brett is doing Yoga four times a week. That's right he will be one limber boy after this! He has always had such tight joints, never could sit Indian style even. So this will be great for him. Now he just needs some yoga pants, ha! This summer is full of events for our family; my mom turns sixty, my brother and his wife are expecting their first in August, my sis turns thirty, it's my 10 year high school reunion, and Caden wouldn't want me to leave out that he'll be four. We went to the party store today and he picked out a superman candle and some pirate plates. Who says you have to stick with a theme? So, until I write again I hope all your days are filled with sidewalk chalk, iced tea, bubbles, water fights, dirt, scraped knees, popsicles, watermelon, BBQ's, sunburn, good friends, and great laughs... Aren't you glad God made different seasons? Everyone I am in I feel like it's my fave!

Babies who Hiccup

I just read the headlines today about the abortion doctor who was shot at his church and killed. Apparently he was one of the few doctors who provided late term abortions, meaning after the 21st week. This is the part that caught my attention, after the 21st week! The babies are over 8 inches long and have eyelids and are drinking amniotic fluid, they can even hiccup. Often times you can even tell gender! How can a man spend his life killing babies? Now, I am strongly against abortion at all stages of pregnancy, but I just find it hard to believe that a highly educated medical doctor who knows way more about the human body than me could look at those babies and not feel anything. I feel sorry for this man, not just in the way that he died, but more so in the way that he lived. What a dark life, I feel even more sorry for him now. I can't believe that this goes on in America. I am not trying to bring up hurt feelings if anyone has had an abortion, I am not talking about the women who are in a tough position and society has given them an "easy way out," and they have blindly taken it and it will haunt them forever. No, I am addressing the doctors who have made a profession based around lies told to the mothers and murder committed to the babies. I think everyone has just turned a blind eye to it and has become numb to it. I think they should post an abortion video on u tube or something so that people can see what is involved. It's just a fetus right, it's just tissue not a baby right? So why don't they have any of these late term abortions on video? Because they know it would look like a massacre of a whole generation. My heart is heavy with the children that have never enjoyed their first steps, a popsicle in the heat of summer, or just a simple kiss on their cheeks. I feel as Solomon did in Ecclesiastes where he sees vanity of life and the injustice of life under the sun. There are so many couples longing for babies and so many who have lost them due to miscarriage. There are so many that want babies, and there are so many babies who die unwanted before they are even born. I know Jesus just welcomes all these babies into heaven with open arms saying, "I want you, I love you, I made you, and you are precious to me."

Our Adoption Journey Begins...

It is so amazing to even be typing that we have begun the process to bring our daughter home from Ethiopia! We will be using Christian World Adoption and have just turned in our paperwork for the home study to start in a couple of weeks. There are so many risks, what ifs, and unknowns. You can stay up all night worrying about them but we know God is behind us, in front of us, and all around us. We have already seen Him work in many financial ways as we took this leap of faith. I can't wait to see the amazing adventure that God has laid before us. Our kids are excited and eager to meet their sister. They want us to adopt more than one, of course the boys were really wanting another brother. I think they are past that now. We started talking about all the fun things that you can make believe with two sisters and two brothers. (that's all they do all day long is imaginative play.) Dason said excitedly one day, "That means when me and Caden are both Peter Pan we can each have our own Tinker Bell!" Please pray for us throughout the next year and beyond. It will take anywhere from 9-15 months from now to have her in our arms. Which means she is probably growing in her birth mom's tummy now. Please pray for her health and protection.

PS Brett's achichilles tendon is healing good but slow, as we expected. He still can't run and walks with a limp. He tried running once but it didn't feel good at all. Of course part of that was just not being able to run for months, he said his whole body hurt. ( :

Breakfast

Typical Conversation over Breakfast:

Dason: Mom, do you know what I want to be when I grow up?
Me: What's that?
Dason: A blue power ranger!
Me: That's cool honey.
Caden: (whining) I want to be the blue power ranger when I grow up!
Dason: You can't be, I am. Do you like pink Caden? I like pink.
Caden: Yeah, I like pink, I'll be the pink power ranger.
Dason: Pink is for girls Caden!
Caden: Mom, Dason said pink is for girls. I want to be the blue power ranger!
Dason: I am the blue one!
Caden: No, me!
Dason: I said it first Caden!

This is the point where I get so mad that we are even continuing this ridiculous conversation. I want to scream out a couple of points;
a) I am so tired! I haven't even had coffee yet! You guys woke me up super early to argue about power rangers?!
b) You don't know even know what a power ranger is! You only heard about them from your little preschool friends.
c)) Even if after you researched what it entailed and you still wanted to be one, Mommy would not let you. It is far too dangerous of a profession!
d) Really, we are really arguing over the color? I feel like breaking out in that 80's love song, "I can say black, and you'd say white, tell me it's day when I know that's it's night, it's always the same it's just a shame that's all."
e) Power Rangers are fake, they don't exist, and they are so lame! They are some foreign show that is cheaply put together but because they are fighting bad guys they can have every little boy hooked.

But I don't say any of these things, instead I calmly say.
"You guys can both be the blue power rangers and be on the blue team!"

They accept this and resume eating their cereal. I pat myself on the back feeling confident in my problem solving skills. Then Caden pipes up with a mouthful of cereal and milk dribbling down his chin.
Caden: I think I'll be the green power ranger.
Dason: No, Caden, mom said you're blue. I am going to be green!
Caden: No, I am green! Mom!
Dason: Mom!

Now, I do an internal scream and contemplate running out of the house. Would they notice? I could probably go to the store and come back and they would still be there arguing. But mostly I just want to climb back under the covers and sleep until noon...

Brett's Sweet Looking Achilles Scar

So, Brett had the first of many doctor's appointments. They took off his cast (that's when these pics were taken) and put on another lighter weight cast. Don't ask me why they would put on the heavy cast right after surgery! He is able to be a little more independent (little is the key word) and says he won't take walking for granted after this. He got the stitches out so now we just wait for it to heal. Want to know how awesome God made our bodies? Apparently if you don't have it surgically fixed it will fix itself. The ends will find their way back to each other! How crazy is that? I guess this works for severed veins too. Doctors just sew the ends off and wait and they can come back together. What an awesome Creator God!

PS In case your curious why we opted for surgery, it's better because it has less chance of re-rupture

January comes to an end...

Can you believe February is almost here? We have almost finished out the first month of 2009. This last month was full of ups and downs. Main Down: Brett's injury. Main up: My brother is getting married and have a baby! I am excited for February because it's Valentines Day and that means at least one day next month I don't have to cook. I have actually been looking forward to it for quite sometime. I have become very selfish with holidays now since starting a family. I take ownership of all of them and feel entitled to be served and given a break. As if my life is so awful or something that I need time away. Even though having three little kids is definitely pull-your- hair-out frustrating most days, they still are the biggest blessing that God has let me be a part of. Not only play a role, but one of the most instrumental roles in their lives, being their mother. I need to get out of the rut that my life is hard and I need a break all the time. My life is amazing, I am able to stay at home with my kids. God will give me the strength, patience, kindness and love for them I need each day.

Surgery went Good

Surgery went well. He tore it down low, which was harder to put back together. And unfortunately, will probably take longer to heal. He is feeling good now as his foot is still numb. Thanks for all the prayers! Will put some pics of pale Brett up soon...

Surgery Tomorrow

So, now they discovered that he tore it completely and so he will have surgery tomorrow. After that he will be in a cast for 2 months and then a walking cast after that. Pray that all will go well tomorrow. Brett is a little nervous about going under the knife...

My Husband's Worst Nightmare

Ever since I met Brett he has been deathly afraid of his achilles tendon tearing. It even became a joke and I would mess around and grab the back of his ankle to freak him out. Then last night he was playing basketball and shot a three (made it) and then turned around to run down the court and heard a pop. He said he thought someone had threw the ball at the back of his leg really hard and then he felt the pain and realized what had happened. So, he is on crutches now and it will take about 4 to 6 weeks to heal. I actually find it somewhat amusing, I laughed when he told me because he use to talk about it all the time. Although, I do feel really bad for him. I told him to think of the positive, he is off duty for kids waking up in the night, or wiping butts in the bathroom, changing diapers, taking out the trash, unloading dishes, taking care of our dog... I have to stop because the outlook of the next month and a half for me is looking pretty grim.

My Horrible Morning

So, I got up this morning and was so excited! I had some new granola that I had just got from Trader Joes yesterday. It was high up on the shelf and I was pleasantly surprised that no one else had discovered it yet. I opened the new crisp package and poured myself a generous portion in a big bowl. I took my time to evenly slice bananas covering the surface of the yummy granola. And then it happened... I opened the fridge and realized we were out of milk. I could blame and punish the three milk drinkers who drink gallons hourly but decided it wouldn't do any good. I had to come up with a solution fast. I couldn't put the cereal back in the box as it was already covered with fruit. I couldn't run to the store because by the time I got the kids ready and went there and back my once perfectly sliced bananas would be brown and slimy. And then it hit me. For years I have known about a solution my father in law uses when there is no milk. And so I did something I swore I would never do. I held my big bowl up to the water dispenser on our fridge... I walked to the table determined that it would still be a good breakfast. I sat down, closed by eyes and took a bite... Hey, not bad, but I was regretting the decision to get the lowfat granola. Now was not the time to skimp on taste. And if you're using water to pour over it, who cares about the extra fat? So, after the first couple of bites I was beginning to think that maybe my father in law wasn't so crazy after all. But then my four year old checked me back into reality when he said, "Mom, is that water in your cereal?" Trying not to falter in my attempt to salvage my breakfast, I said confidently, "Yes, it is." and shoved another bite in my mouth. To which he replied, "Sounds gross" then looking closer and saying with more gusto, "EWWW!." Still munching on the watery, lowfat bite, I realized he was right and my breakfast dream was shattered...

I may start wearing makeup in my late twenties...

So, I have never been a person who wears make-up. Sure there have been special occasions like prom, wedding, boredom... But as a general rule I have been pretty much naked faced for almost 27 years. The main reason is because I always felt make-up holds you back. What if I want to sweat, or cry, or go in a waterfall? You can't do this if you are wearing makeup without looking like some kind of kindergarten art project. It hinders spontaneity. The other reason I didn't is because I didn't want the real me to be the slightly less prettier version. You know those people (like Oprah) that when you see them with their makeup off it's scary. Wearing makeup then becomes a must because then if you don't have time to put it on you scare everybody with the duller version of yourself. (the real you) I just have never been able to handle that kind of commitment! The last reason was that I was fine with my natural look. And then I had kids... Now granted, having three children in three years did not change the look of my face. But it surely has changed everything else! There are things (two things to be exact) that are supposed to be perky that aren't anymore, the skin on my stomach looks like a road map with all my stretch marks, and I am pretty sure I use to have a belly button. But I can't change any of those things outside of some major surgery. But I can buy some make-up and start to look like a care a little about my appearance. My sweat pants and sporty clothes are no longer a statement of my interests but the sloppy look of a tired mother. So, I bought myself some mascara. It's a small step I realize. But in putting it on I feel prettier in my sweatpants with my stretch marks and flabby stomach. It's kind of like repainting the outside of your messy house. Buy some make-up, a new shirt, suck it in, and voila a new woman!