Thinking of Her

Today it is rainy and cold, I wonder what the weather is like in Ethiopia now. I guess it would be night time. I think about my daughter... Is she born yet? Is she hungry or cold? It's weird that I feel so connected to an idea of her since I don't even know her face. I know God is leading her to us and so I feel confident in my stored up love for her. He will accomplish amazing things and bring us together. But when? How much longer? Kylin asks about her everyday and I find that in the beginning of our journey it was fun to talk about with her. The longer time goes on the more I feel sad about the questions, "when is she coming?" because they echo my own frustrations. I know that God is preparing us for her and this time is what we need. Yet somehow I hurt for my baby girl whom is just a thought in my head and a longing in my heart. I thank God that He is moving and want to do His perfect will. Someday I can tell her how I loved her before I knew her name or felt her touch, much like I did when I was pregnant with her older brothers and sisters. Until then...

Back here to stay (or at least for awhile)

By the way, I am switching back to this blog because people have had trouble viewing the other one for some reason. So, thanks for sticking with me as I bounce around! I feel like I am always having trouble editing or putting up pictures here but ah well, I'll keep trying...

Our Trip Becomes Two

The Ethiopian government has officially changed the requirements so it looks like we'll be heading their twice. Not what we wanted but we knew all along that we're not in control and there would be many ups and downs. Next month marks a year since we started officially with our agency. Our dossier has been in Ethiopia since September and we hope and pray for a referral any day now. The kids are all eagerly waiting too. They pray for her and talk about her everyday. We just recently celebrated Dason and Ky's birthday, along with Easter. Good times and a reminder to not want to speed anything up but just to enjoy every moment with our family. Brett is a lot more patient than me (shocker I know) throughout this whole process. I love his excitement to meet his new daughter too and can't wait to go over their together. What an amazing journey that will be! Perhaps if you're reading this you may be thinking that maybe God has adoption in your plans as well. Just pray about it and see what happens. Watching God work is one of the most inspiring, amazing things that we can do on this earth. I long to hold our baby girl but I know God will be holding her until we get there and I know He'll keep her safe. Thanks for your prayers!

switching blogs

Hey, I am changing blogs so I thought I'd let the few people who read this know... I will be updating the new blog more frequently about the adoption (when there is news, right now we are still waiting...) the new one is www.devriesclan.blogspot.com.

Whose life will change?

Since we have begun our adoption journey there is not much to report, we are still compiling paperwork. We hope to have everything sent off to Ethiopia next month. In our hearts, we have gone a lot further. I feel like we have already traveled to get her and come back several times. I read so many adoption stories online and I feel connected in a deep way because I know our story will be similar. I have read so much about life in Ethiopia and the conditions over there. I know God is hurting for these people beyond our comprehension. So much so that he puts it on so many hearts to love those who are without hope. I think about the life we will be giving her and the opportunities she will have here that she otherwise would not have. For starters, a chance at life and to live and to grow old. But I wonder whose life will be changed more, her or ours? I know our journey over there will be so eye opening and will change the way I look at the world and the privileges we have over here. As I type I am surrounded by my healthy children and tripping over dozens and dozens of toys. Our dog lays around all day on our plush carpet and gets fed by an automatic feeder whenever she wants. My life, our children's life is so easy and we never worry about our children's next meal or how to keep them warm through the night. I know that we will change so much through this process because God will be leading us and showing us His heart. I long to hold our baby girl but know that God has so much to teach us before he gives us one of his dear masterpieces. I pray for her as she is being formed in the innermost parts, only God knows who she is and that she is ours. I want to kiss her and see her face, I want to hug her and feel our lives change together... intertwined forever.

Summerness

So we are in full swing with summer around here! The kids are having a blast and the weather is awesome. We went camping in Tahoe last week with our church and that was so awesome because I finally have a kid (Dason) that I have to try and keep up with on a hike! This was a big deal to me, I feel like our family is getting to a place where we can all do things we enjoy. Of course we will be getting our baby girl and regress a year or two... But for now we are loving the summer fun with our "big" kids. Ky can keep up with her brothers pretty good now. We are a busy fam, even our dog has obedience training this summer. Dason and me are playing bball, Cade is playing soccer, and Brett is doing Yoga four times a week. That's right he will be one limber boy after this! He has always had such tight joints, never could sit Indian style even. So this will be great for him. Now he just needs some yoga pants, ha! This summer is full of events for our family; my mom turns sixty, my brother and his wife are expecting their first in August, my sis turns thirty, it's my 10 year high school reunion, and Caden wouldn't want me to leave out that he'll be four. We went to the party store today and he picked out a superman candle and some pirate plates. Who says you have to stick with a theme? So, until I write again I hope all your days are filled with sidewalk chalk, iced tea, bubbles, water fights, dirt, scraped knees, popsicles, watermelon, BBQ's, sunburn, good friends, and great laughs... Aren't you glad God made different seasons? Everyone I am in I feel like it's my fave!

Babies who Hiccup

I just read the headlines today about the abortion doctor who was shot at his church and killed. Apparently he was one of the few doctors who provided late term abortions, meaning after the 21st week. This is the part that caught my attention, after the 21st week! The babies are over 8 inches long and have eyelids and are drinking amniotic fluid, they can even hiccup. Often times you can even tell gender! How can a man spend his life killing babies? Now, I am strongly against abortion at all stages of pregnancy, but I just find it hard to believe that a highly educated medical doctor who knows way more about the human body than me could look at those babies and not feel anything. I feel sorry for this man, not just in the way that he died, but more so in the way that he lived. What a dark life, I feel even more sorry for him now. I can't believe that this goes on in America. I am not trying to bring up hurt feelings if anyone has had an abortion, I am not talking about the women who are in a tough position and society has given them an "easy way out," and they have blindly taken it and it will haunt them forever. No, I am addressing the doctors who have made a profession based around lies told to the mothers and murder committed to the babies. I think everyone has just turned a blind eye to it and has become numb to it. I think they should post an abortion video on u tube or something so that people can see what is involved. It's just a fetus right, it's just tissue not a baby right? So why don't they have any of these late term abortions on video? Because they know it would look like a massacre of a whole generation. My heart is heavy with the children that have never enjoyed their first steps, a popsicle in the heat of summer, or just a simple kiss on their cheeks. I feel as Solomon did in Ecclesiastes where he sees vanity of life and the injustice of life under the sun. There are so many couples longing for babies and so many who have lost them due to miscarriage. There are so many that want babies, and there are so many babies who die unwanted before they are even born. I know Jesus just welcomes all these babies into heaven with open arms saying, "I want you, I love you, I made you, and you are precious to me."